This is such an obvious dating dumbass story that I completely forgot to mention it - until I heard it again on the plane back home.
Let me paint the picture: Imagine a cute guy with a wedding ring. Now, when I see the ring, I think "Hands off." I don't do married trade, I don't like to be the cheat-ee, I don't like to get in the middle. Nice to talk to, not nice to sleep with.
After a few minutes of really good conversation (of course, it's ALWAYS good with unattainable married men), he turns to me and says, "You know, my wife and I lead separate lives. I travel all the time and do my own thing. And she does her own thing while I'm away." ::insert meaningful pause here where he waits for me to respond accordingly::
OK, that's sooooo not a green light for me to go ahead. First, I always wonder how many wives out there know that their husbands are giving the "separate lives" speech. It's easy to say that you have an open relationship. But the reality is often a completely different story. Second, it's a piss-poor line besides. Am I supposed to be HAPPY about being their secret chickie on the road? Like, "Hey, I was thinking about beating off tonight. But you're cute. Why don't we have sex instead." Come ON.
Oddly, I've never head that line come out of a woman's mouth. If anything, it's more, "Yes, I'm married - but you're cute and I'd like to have sex with you." Not coming up with some elaborate line that doesn't make sense.
Granted, I do know a couple friends who truly do have a good "don't ask, don't tell" relationship. The husbands are on the road over 250 days a year and the couple have set some pretty strong boundaries outlining what works and what won't. I applaud those folks; it couldn't be easy having an unconventional relationship in a conventional world. But that's a whole different conversation. And one that doesn't take place within 10 minutes of meeting someone on a plane.
Back to Mr. Separate Lives. Sure, I listened and nodded in the appropriate places. And I did have a brief moment of wishing that he was single. But did I jump into bed with him the second I could? Nope. Sex is fun, but cheating sex lost its thrill in my 20s. I'm sure he found some young and dumb thing to listen to his separate lives tales of woe. But it didn't get any play with me...